One of the things I realised after losing our beloved doggo, was that even with how magnificent i thought he was, I had still somehow managed to underestimate him.
I made the decision to add him to our family when my daughter was 18mths old and going through the diagnostic process for Autism. I thought it might help with her connectedness, though it turned out she had no issues in that area, my little love bug. But perhaps we owe some of that to Chief.
I always slept a little better at night knowing he was sleeping at the end of her bed. It was a comfort knowing that if someone broke in, they’d have to go through him first. He even attacked an intruder in our yard one night. Whoever that was never came back!
2 weeks after he passed, my daughter had her first ever seizure-type episode. Front row centre at a Taylor Swift concert of all places. She’d been to loads of concerts and never had an issue. After an MRI, an EEG, several emergency room trips and a bunch of similar episodes later, the neurologist told us that the length of the episodes were much longer than typical epilepsy, and that it was likely anxiety related. I had always suspected due to the timing that it was somehow related to the loss of him.
It's possible that the grief of losing him brought on a cluster of these episodes, or it's possible that his presence in her life was keeping her anxiety under control. Either way, i realised that he was more of a therapy dog than we realised. My love and appreciation for him has continued to grow and evolve even now that he’s gone.
Whether your dog is a qualified therapy dog, a rescue, or just a dog that you crossed paths with one day that ended up in your home, chances are that you’re a better you because of them.
Maybe they opened your heart up to greater love, maybe they saved your life or gave you a reason to live. Or maybe they were the glue that kept your little family together on hard days.
When we look at it this way, it’s hard to deny the idea that we make soul contracts with our pets. They are after all, some of our greatest teachers.
Over the past 15 or so years in this industry and on my own spiritual journey, I’ve come across all kinds of teachers and people. Of course each and every person we encounter on Earth teaches us and we honour every interaction or experience individually and collectively.
There are just 5 people who stand out in my mind as having been what I consider true spiritual teachers to me over that time. It might sound selective, but your spiritual journey is very personal, and it’s more than okay - if not imperative - to be selective with spiritual mentors.
We don’t choose a partner in love willy nilly, and we should be just as discerning with spiritual teachers.
I remember watching a documentary once about this guy who was raised by Buddhist monks and whenever anyone would say to this monk that he was enlightened or anything of the sort he would say “No no, I just a crazy old man” and laugh it off.
You’ll know a true spiritual teacher when you meet one. Chances are you’ll admire them, look up to them, and hold them in the highest regard. But they’ll always meet you as an equal.
Don’t get me wrong, a bit of pride in your work is healthy, even for spiritual people. It’s natural and perfectly okay to feel proud of your progress and accomplishments, whether you’re a doctor, bricklayer or a psychic. It’s part of valuing your work and caring about the outcome.
But if you ever feel a spiritual teacher is talking down to you, purposely tries to over-mystify things to make themselves sound or seem important, or just seems to have an inflated ego, it might be a sign that you’re ready for a new mentor 💜🖤
I have been reading this book for twenty years.
Quite unbelievable really. Often I will revisit previous chapters, but I am still yet to actually finish the book. It’s one I have set aside in between other books and projects and picked it up again when it felt relevant. And I suppose with each revisit I have understood aspects of this book that I didn’t previously, or understood them on a deeper level.
The last few days I have been thinking about one particular chapter that was sort of a life changer for me several years ago. It might not resonate with everyone, and when I first read it I pondered it for quite a while.
What the author talks about is the concept that you cannot give love to another person, nor receive love from another person. To read that in itself did throw me at first, as I immediately thought, “But, I love my dog/child etc and I show/give them that love all the time”, or “I can feel that my partner/cat etc loves me”.
What she explains, is that when we feel we are loved, or when we feel we love someone or something, we are merely giving ourselves permission to feel our own love, and we conclude that another person is “giving” us that love, or that we are “loving them” when what we are really doing, is allowing ourselves to experience and be in the state of our own love.
She uses this example… when a lover or partner tells you they love you or puts their arms around you and kisses you, you decide, based on their actions/words, that you are lovable, and consequently allow yourself to feel the love you have inside of you.
They aren’t “giving” you love. You are allowing yourself to experience and feel love. And you decide when you’re allowed to feel it.
Like the author, to me the concept of “You cannot receive love from anyone else until you love yourself” was always an inspiring and believable quote. I thought I understood what it meant, and it was really only after reading this chapter that I realised I hadn’t truly understood it, not to it’s full capacity anyway.
Of course on the other hand, there are energy exchanges between people and animals, so by being in a loving state and energetically sending this to others is possible, however what they choose to feel and receive is up to them, which again makes the above concept valid even in energetic forms such as healing.
If you have ever been in a relationship with someone who perhaps didn’t love themselves or had forgotten their own love, you will know the frustration of trying to make them believe that you love them. Your love cannot do anything but be a reason for someone else to feel the love he/she already is/has in themselves. If they are disconnected from their own limitless supply of love, your love cannot do anything but call out to someone else’s love to try to wake it from a deep sleep.
These types of relationships usually fail because your love will appear to make the other person angry. This is because your love reminds them of their failure to love themselves. So essentially, your love is confronting and annoying to them. Sound familiar?
Other people, places, things, experiences, pets, etc are opportunities on Earth to experience and be in the state of love. There is an infinite supply in all of us, and we are all connected to each other.
Someone once told me to imagine life and the afterlife as an ice cube tray. If our collective souls are the water put into the tray, our lives are like the individual ice blocks. It’s only on Earth that we are separate. When we rejoin Spirit, the ice blocks essentially unfreeze and we once again become a collective body of water. When I thought about this, the phrase “You can’t truly love another unless you love yourself” also took on a whole new meaning to me. Because essentially when you love another, you’re loving an aspect of yourself - that same water before it became an ice cube.
Thank you to Barbara De Angelis for the wisdom in this book which has helped me in countless ways and to Rumi for this beautiful quote:
The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that really was
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere
They’re in each other all along
In Joy & Love
If you’ve ever woken up at night in that half sleep state and felt what you perceived to be a ghost or negative energy, along with a pressure on your chest, I personally believe at least some of the time it can be explained by what you’ll hear in this video about the REM sleep states.
I was a sleep paralysis sufferer for a really long time. Around 20 years to be exact, and I have spent a lot of time investigating it. I haven’t had it now for a year or two, but I found there was a number of things that triggered it for me. Stress, strange irregular sleep patterns and laying on my back were a few.
I remember being rather insulted one time when discussing this phenomenon with an anaesthesiologist, and being told it was all a dream. Sleep paralysis always came hand in hand with what seemed to be an “other worldly” intruder in my room standing by the bed, or worse, on top of me. It always felt so real, so being told it was all a dream just felt so dismissive.
Over the years lots of people have told me about mid-sleep experiences they’ve had where they have felt a negative energy or “ghost” and describing not being able to move, and/or pressure on their chests. I have experienced this myself and it’s awful. I definitely think what Charlie describes here regarding the lungs/respiratory system, and the mind needing to place things, explains a vast portion of these experiences.
If you’re a sleep paralysis sufferer, the good news is that you’re probably an excellent candidate for lucid dreaming. And, you can use Lucid dreaming to help you integrate your Shadow. The image here could also be in reference to you and your shadow lol. I love it.
Visit the Links to Charlie’s videos here:
Oh the accuracy . I was going to just post this meme without any text, but as usual my writers brain kicked in and I was compelled to elaborate. When I saw this image, my entire dating life flashed before my eyes. This month for me marks 9 years straight of being single. Might sound a bit extreme but some going inward, self reflection and healing had to be done. That and you know, being stubbornly independent 😆
This image below was a common problem I encountered. Seeing what a person potentially “could be” instead of what they actually were. Looking at a caterpillar and seeing a butterfly. Sounds innocent enough, until you come to the stone cold realisation that your relationship is actually a threesome type scenario with both Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.
While we might recognise and want to nurture the good in a partner, help them harness their light so to speak, don’t forget that if doing so involves you being abused or treated badly, that while trying to assist THEIR spiritual growth, you may well be impeding your own. Especially if one of your lessons is self worth. Of course there’s an argument to say it’s an instance where you’re the teacher soul for them, but chances are if you’re willing to accept being treated badly, there’s a lesson in it for you too.
I think the best we can all do is be insightful, discerning, and recognise what we are being shown and taught. Be grateful for the lessons and move onward and upward.
And if you’re a lone wolf like me, or been on your own for a while, or even newly single. Think of it like this. You’ve been given an opportunity to become completely who you are. Just you becoming you. No needing to compromise or appease the other person in your relationship. You’ve got time and space to purify your own energy, go inward, heal, face any demons, shed and transform any stagnant or negative energy, and raise your own vibration, so that when you do eventually meet a life partner, it won’t be a toxic relationship or someone you attract because they need to heal you or you need to heal them. It will be someone who simply matches your frequency.
A frequency you’ve worked hard to achieve.
Like the saying goes, magical people don’t just appear in your life. You have to earn them ✨
Tonight my daughter is again watching the movie “A Dogs Purpose”. If you haven’t seen it, it’s a brilliant movie that unfortunately hit the headlines over some leaked footage that was sold to the media, of a German Shephard who was reluctant to shoot a scene in the water. There are a few reports available online that outline it all further, but what I really wanted to write about here is the concept behind the book/movie, which sits well with me spiritually, as well as being heart-warmingly beautiful.
Long story short, after some extensive google searching into the behind the scenes of the film, I agreed to let my daughter watch the movie. It tells the story of a soul who incarnates into several lifetimes as a dog, with various owners. I won’t spoil the ending for you if you haven’t seen it, but what really spoke to me with this film, is the idea of Soul Contracts with our pets. I was having this very conversation not that long ago, with my friend and boss, Anthony Grzelka, as we discussed the pet chapter of his new book, that I am very fortunate to be working on with him. I perhaps may have to see if I can talk him into a mini-interview on this subject, as I think lots of people would love to know more about this, and it perhaps may even explain why we sometimes feel more connected to certain pets. While I love all my pets equally, I have had an intense connection and familiarity with a couple, and it makes you wonder if these are perhaps souls who have been our pets before in this life, or even who we have had other lifetimes with.
What I loved so much about this film, was that after several different incarnations, the souls that were meant to be together found their way to each other, along with the love they each so deserved. Thanks to a super special Doggo who did just a fraction of orchestrating. Some may call it luck, some may call it fate, some may call it Karma or contractual soul agreements.. but the one thing I know for sure is that
DOGS ARE AWESOME.
That is all.
Today I saw our Vet for the first time since Chief’s euthanasia. As soon as we sat down in the waiting room, a young girl about 15 years old and her dad exited tearfully out of one of the consult rooms. Dad’s face was red and strained with emotion, and the girl dissolved into tears on her dad’s shoulder. My heart broke for them from across the room, knowing all too well what they were going through.
After a little while, the Mother came out blotchy faced and carrying an empty cat carrier and the three of them left the clinic silently, united in their love for their missing family member, and in their overwhelming pain and despair.
As our Vet (the same one that just moments before had to lovingly send off a beloved member of someone’s family) appeared at the doorway, she recognised us and smiled kindly. Emotion got the better of me as I got up to greet her. The last time I saw her friendly face was probably the single worst day of my life, and yet I feel so much fondness and gratitude towards her. She was part of the little energetic huddle that saw my boy from one world to the next, and she will forever be dear to my heart. As we hugged, I felt Chief’s presence with us just for brief moment, there was no way he was going to miss that reunion, and what he had obviously decided should be a group hug.
After speaking for a little bit about my wise old boy, it was time to introduce Matilda, our Ragdoll kitten. New love has come in to our family, but our love for Chief remains ever as strong, unforgettable and irreplaceable.
The mixture of feelings a person has towards their Vet and vet clinic after losing a pet would vary greatly. Some people may feel the clinic and their Vet reminds them of the trauma, the sadness and the loss. Some people may feel uncomfortable about the depth of emotion that arose during this difficult time. Some people may even feel angry towards their Vet or clinic. Even if the loss was at no fault of the Vet, the need to compartmentalise feelings of grief and anger is certainly something that happens. Some people may feel that the Vet and clinic is a lovely and meaningful connection to their pet and their memories, especially if you have an excitable Labrador who simply loved going to the vet and the ensuing adoration from the staff. All understandable emotions and all of which I am sure every Vet has experienced and understands.
Vets and Vet Nurses experience such a range of highs and lows in their job. They have to go from the energy in one room of despair, devastation and grief, into the next consult room with a joyous family with a new little puppy or kitten, and adapt accordingly, often with barely a break in between. Most are animal lovers, and they empathise with your situation completely. They may not show it but their hearts will break a little bit for you, and so will every heart in the waiting room as you leave with your empty cat carrier, or clutching a now redundant lead. We are all united in our love for our pets and the emptiness and sadness that engulfs us when we have to part with them.
And just as your Vets heart will be heavy for you when it’s time for a difficult goodbye, they will also share in your joy, whether its weeks, months or years later, when you arrive with a delicate ball of fluff or excitable waggy tail. Animals have a way of connecting us all. Whether it’s due to the interesting looking dog on the other side of the park that your dog simply MUST meet, resulting in a 45 minute discussion with a stranger about your furbabies and life stories, the empathy from strangers in the waiting room as you leave minus a member of your family, or the care and understanding from the amazing Vet staff when your heart is fragile and broken, animals are to thank for all of this beautiful connection between humans. They teach us so much about love and compassion, and I can’t help but wonder if, as they watch all these connections and loving emotions unfold on the Earth, all of the pets we have ever had, are smiling from Heaven, knowing their work is done.
Some people might be curious about my business name, and wonder how the loss of something so treasured, could possibly be perceived as beautiful. How can you possibly call death beautiful, right?
When my dog had to be euthanized, naturally we were beyond devastated. But we summoned every bit of inner strength we had, and vowed that he would have the peaceful, warm and loving send off he deserved. We talked, laughed, hugged him, sung him his favourite song and told him it was okay, and that he was a good boy. I loved those last moments and i recall them fondly.
I know to some that might sound crazy, but to me death has a very beautiful aspect to it, and it's an honour to be with someone for their last moments, whether person or animal.
Of course the physical side of death is incredibly hard. Anyone who has ever spent time with someone who is in palliative care, will know how awful and traumatic it can be. From a human or physical perception, lets face it, death is horrible.
However, that is looking at it with physical eyes and not from a spiritual perspective.
If you think about the birth of a baby - there is a whole lot of pain, but it's so special in spite of the pain because a soul has just embarked on a new experience. This is just like death - a lot of pain, (perhaps emotional in this instance) but a soul has transitioned and will continue to fulfil its ultimate purpose. Both birth and death are equally as special to me for this reason. Of course this will come down to an individuals belief system also.
The "Beautiful" in my business name not only refers to those love filled final moments that can be so very special, but also gives reference to our souls journey of birth, death and everything in between.
No matter how your pet has passed, or under what circumstance, your bond with them remains just as beautiful as it always was, and always will be..
In Joy & Love
One of my jobs for myself this weekend is making a vision board. I never got around to making one this year, usually my first task every New Year. Which means that this one is very late, so has to be particularly awesome.
I’ve decided instead of things I might usually put, like a holiday or goals about things I want to happen or come into my life, this one is only allowed to involve goals centred around my own emotional, mental or spiritual growth, thoughts, and outlook.
Lately I have started to wonder if vision boards can sometimes be mistakenly made or intended as an adult version of a list for Santa Clause. The adult version of Santa, of course, being The Universe who perhaps in actuality, frankly doesn’t care what’s on our list.
You see, as kids, we fill out our Christmas list full of hope and excitement that some etheric being in a red suit will drop these things quite literally into our laps. And joy of joys, if you were lucky, most of the time this happened.
But at some point we realise that Santa doesn’t actually land on our roofs in a puff of wonder and magic and lovingly drop these gifts down the chimney. We eventually accept that if we want presents on Christmas morning, we have to get of our whiny arses, go to work, save up, and trudge on down to the shop.
Realising that it’s not The Universe that delivers us our wish list, no matter how hard we wish for it, can be an equal blow to that of learning of Santa’s non-existence. What a complete rort, right?
But maybe what’s on your list, or vision board, does not, and has never, mattered.
How many times did your parents bop you over the head and chirp at you as you opened yet another awful knitted jumper, clumsily wrapped in re-used Rudolph paper from Aunt Phyllis:
“It’s the thought that counts!”
And in time, (maybe not til early adulthood) you realised this was true.
I remember one year in my teens, I brought my boyfriend at the time to Christmas Eve at my Nan’s house. He was 6 foot tall, with long hair, and had been in a bar fight the previous week, in which he got kicked in the head with a steel cap boot, and due to injuries to his eye, was wearing an eye patch. I had to stifle a giggle as he unwrapped a carefully selected gift from my Nan. It was a newsagent-purchased diary. To this day it still makes my heart smile to think of my Nan, bless her heart, pottering around Maddington Metro and setting her sights on this faux leather bound weekly diary for him. I love that perhaps she thought he might write his eye appointments in there. Maybe make a note on pay day to buy his bourbon. The little things that mattered a lot to me, her acceptance of him, her wanting to include him in the present-giving, no one in my family saying a word about the eye patch.
It is the thought that counts.
The universe may not care what’s on our list or vision board. Further than this, the universe probably doesn’t even read the damn thing.
It’s my belief at the moment, that the real value in vision boards, is the act of us believing in our thoughts and the Universe enough to create one in the first place.
Maybe merely by sitting down and creating one, we are saying to The Universe, “I believe that I have the ability to positively influence my life, using my thoughts, and I will work in unison with a Universal Energy that will back me as much as I back myself”
And maybe The Universe’s only reaction to this, is to believe us, and support us in our belief in ourselves.
Do I think we can manifest cars, relationships, jobs and better health by using a vision board? Yes I do. But I am wondering if some of us are completely missing the point. Is that not unlike focusing on the destination, not the journey?
Maybe the true gift that comes from a vision board, is the faith that The Universe works with you, not against you. That The Universe will dance with you, but it’s up to you to lead. If something specific you wanted to manifest comes as a result of that strengthened relationship between you and The Universe, brilliant. But I feel like that would be like thinking about what a friend can “do for you” rather than the friendship itself.
So I’ve decided to create some goals around reassessing, repairing, and strengthening my outlook and relationship with this Universal Energy. It’s something I never really did, I just leapt right in and started asking for stuff. And, I believe, entirely missed the point in the process.
No matter what your vision board has helped you to manifest in the past, or what it may help you to manifest in the future, I believe the greatest spiritual gift to come from one, is the acknowledgement of The Universe itself, and your faith in it’s process.